Excerpt from:
72 Questions
How to ask for what you want
and transform your love life

"I am happy for you..."

I could not afford to make another mistake I was moving out of my son’s father’s house. I tried, but after nine years since our son was born and five before that, nothing had changed, even though it was a repeated topic of discussion. It was time. 

I had my "ideal mate" checklist for the universe in his filing cabinet. I wasn’t about to leave anything so personal in there. He’d probably already looked at it, but I grabbed the list, crumpled it and threw it in the trash. Then thought I better not leave it in the trash, went back, dug it out, put it in the moving box and took it to my car. 

As I was opening the door, he stopped me, “I’m ready for commitment. Maybe it’s too late for you but I wanted you to know that I am ready.” I was beyond anger, I had reached indifference. But really? This was the time he was ready, when my shit was packed in my car after more than a decade of frustration, breaking up and getting back together, as I was carrying out the last box? 

“I am really glad for you.” 

I closed the door and headed to my car. Honestly, I felt bad for him because I knew he wasn’t ready, that he would never be ready for me or anyone else. I didn’t want him to be alone now or forever, but he was the one actually making that choice by his inability to commit, to be emotionally present, to love unconditionally. 

There was always a condition.