How to ask for what you want
and transform your love life
"I am happy for you..."
I could not afford to make another mistake I was moving out of my son’s father’s house. I tried, but after nine years since our son was born and five before that, nothing had changed, even though it was a repeated topic of discussion. It was time.
I had my "ideal mate" checklist for the universe in his filing cabinet. I wasn’t about to leave anything so personal in there. He’d probably already looked at it, but I grabbed the list, crumpled it and threw it in the trash. Then thought I better not leave it in the trash, went back, dug it out, put it in the moving box and took it to my car.
As I was opening the door, he stopped me, “I’m ready for commitment. Maybe it’s too late for you but I wanted you to know that I am ready.” I was beyond anger, I had reached indifference. But really? This was the time he was ready, when my shit was packed in my car after more than a decade of frustration, breaking up and getting back together, as I was carrying out the last box?
“I am really glad for you.”
I closed the door and headed to my car. Honestly, I felt bad for him because I knew he wasn’t ready, that he would never be ready for me or anyone else. I didn’t want him to be alone now or forever, but he was the one actually making that choice by his inability to commit, to be emotionally present, to love unconditionally.